Posts Tagged ‘Sarah Palin’

Guilty Pleasures

July 8th, 2009

This is big. I might even say HUGE news. Now, if you are a teenage girl or a sexually confused underager, make sure you are sitting down. I think the rest of my readers might be able to handle this news standing, though I would advise against it. Here it goes: Man bangs are out. Yeah, I know. I heard a few high-pitched gasps through the matrix of the internet as you read that. Don’t believe me? Well, check it out:

manbangsgone 300x252 Guilty Pleasures

Zac Efron, Chace Crawford and Jared Leto all made the effeminate longer hair something to gawk at. Of course they are all three a little too pretty as boys anyway. Now that they’ve chopped it off I wonder how it will change their life-paths. I predict Chace Crawford will be fine since he is still the “it” boy of the moment. Zac was last year’s “it” girrrl so he best watch his back. Without that perfectly straightened hair he might not be signed on for High School Musical 23. As for Leto, well, we all know he ain’t going anywhere. Same thing with his career. (Thanks to Michael K over at disted for the image!)

 Guilty PleasuresI don’t really have any source for this piece but its important to get it out there in my opinion. Today’s Bravo station line-up was totally devoted to reruns of the last season of The Real Housewives of New York City. Why? Could it be because the cast has signed back on? Nope. Sorry, didn’t mean to psyche you out. In fact, word has it that only ONE of the cast members from last season has signed on for a third round…and its not any of the ones you want it to be. The crazy one, Kelly Bensimon, is the only one who has inked herself in for more abuse. I had hoped she wouldn’t be invited back.

liz taylor michael jackson 212x300 Guilty PleasuresElizabeth Taylor took to her Twitter account to announce that she would not be at today’s Staple Center Michael-Jacksonathon. She had this to say: “I cannot be part of the public whoopla. And I cannot guarantee that I would be coherent to say a word.” I support her calling it a whoopla. BUT, her getting up there and having a mini-meltdown like she did when she announced Gladiator as Best Picture might have made it worth watching.

I love blind items. The mystery, the intrigue, the betrayal. If blind items were a perfume it would smell like fresh blood. Here’s today’s:

blind 150x150 Guilty PleasuresCould it be that a certain gay blade has shaved off one beard and grown another? It’s one thing to hang out with that friendly filly who has known her way around a queen or two. Now he’s clinging onto a more desperate dame who, if I’m not mistaken, never met a gay man she didn’t like. His undeniable charms have worked pretty well in the past – his breakthrough happened when he focused on a guy mentioned in this very column. That time, he landed a series. The only thing that could happen with this b* is he’d shrink half a foot and lose all his hair. (Billy Masters via Blind Gossip)

Any ideas? Hmmm, here is a hint as to who I’m leaning towards. He was featured in a very recent Guilty Pleasures segment. Name starts with a B. Go forth and find it! It’ll be like Where’s Waldo but we will call it Where’s Mo? I’m patenting this idea so don’t think you can steal it.

fergieandjoshduhamel 253x300 Guilty PleasuresThis little article is just gross. I need a handy wipe for my brain just imagining it. Some low-class attendee of Josh Duhamel and Fergie’s wedding gave them a rather…questionable…gift. A stripper pole. Duhamel had this to say,“I’ve played on the pole more than she has…” Okay, I took it out of context but I’m not going to clarify it.

meganfoxisavampire 255x300 Guilty Pleasures

Megan Fox looks like Dita Von Teese became anorexic and let a vampire turn her. She also whores herself out as a car-washer to get into Michael Bay films. How low can you go?

Guilty Pleasure of the Day:

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Trust me, its worth the five minutes. Its always fun to see Andy get all worked up over something or someone stupid.

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Motiveless Crime News Headlines

July 7th, 2009

If you are looking for coverage on the Michael Jackson Memorial/Show/Concert/Funeral/Glorification, this isn’t the place. I respect the man’s career, but this media hoopla has to end and I am therefore boycotting the entire atrocity.

Britain Obama Russia G20President Barack Obama is wrapping up a two-day trip to Russia with Michelle and children in tow. While in the country he met with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev to discuss a wide-range of topics from economy and trading to weapons of mass destruction. Obama stated that “We need to make it easier for U.S. companies to invest in Russia, and Russian companies to invest in the U.S.” The trip is said to have created a more positive connection between the two nations in the hope that stronger economic ties might be created. Most notable is the agreement made between Obama and Medvedev to create a new arms treaty to reduce both country’s nuclear arsenals by roughly a third.

Al Franken 150x150 Motiveless Crime News HeadlinesAl Franken became a Minnesota senator today, completing his transformation from comedian to politician. The finalized election makes Franken the 60th Democrat in the Senate, thereby breaking the possibility of any Republican filibusters in the future.

US Seal 150x150 Motiveless Crime News Headlines

Four of the Obama administration’s top environmental and energy officials urged the Senate to pass legislation that would force companies to reduce pollution that has been proven to greatly contribute to global warming. The heads of the Energy Department, Agriculture Department, Interior Department and Environmental Protection Agency are pushing specific legislation that would impose the 1st limits on greenhouse gas emissions. Eventually the legislation would lead to an 80% reduction in such gasses by mid-century.

mahmoud ahmadinejad 300x189 Motiveless Crime News HeadlinesIran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, whose questioned re-election last month, gave a televised address to his country following weeks of civil unrest. Ahmadinejad’s re-election was widely disputed by his opponents who cited ballot tampering as the only reason he was still in office. The iconic leader responded to such claims by vaguely stating that the balloting was “the most free election anywhere in the world.” Opponents who claimed the election was rigged caused rioting in the streets which ended with at least twenty dead and more than a thousand arrested. Solid facts on what is going on in Iran aren’t available as the Iranian government has banned international journalists following the civil unrest. Despite imposing such wide-sweeping censorship, Ahmadinejad stated criticism of government “is the key to the success of a nation.”

Google 300x211 Motiveless Crime News HeadlinesGoogle announced today that it would be removing the Beta label from many of its top products, some of which have been around for years. The alteration on the brands cover Gmail, Google Calendar, Google Docs, Google Talk and Google Video for Business. The change comes as no surprise as suddenly the desktop apps provided by Google to businesses will no longer be free. All applications for non-personal use will cost $50 per person, per year for the entire package.

Palin Rifle Bikini 198x300 Motiveless Crime News HeadlinesMCNH Shorthand Quote:

Sarah Palin stated in an interview, “if I die, I die. So be it.” alluding to her political career which is greatly in question following her abrupt and idiotic announcement that she is leaving office at the end of the month. At least it appears that she semi-understands what she has managed to do to her image.

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Person of the Week: Sarah Palin

July 6th, 2009

sarah palin 240x300 Person of the Week: Sarah PalinThat’s right ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. Moose-huntin’-bumper sticker-slogan-lovin’-GOP-VP-loser-Sarah Palin is Motiveless Crime’s Person of the Week. By now you’ve probably heard about her abrupt and unexplained choice to resign from her governorship in Alaska. She made the announcement Friday afternoon to a small group of reporters while the rest of the country looked on in awe. Here was a badly-spoken political powerhouse stepping down from office and she couldn’t seem to articulate a reasonable excuse for doing so. But somewhere in there, between the numerous references to her choice not being “politics as usual”, was a veiled threat. She mentioned wanting to be a part of something grander, something national…something bigger.

Hint, hint, wink, wink.

This vague allusion to a possible Senate or worse (gulp) Presidential aspiration probably caused many of us to shit ourselves standing. Depending on your political affiliation, it was either due to excitement or absolute dread. I realize that leaving a governorship for a higher office isn’t a new career path (thanks to George W. Bush) but the idea that one can simply abandon responsibility as a way of proving they are ready for more seems backwards at best. It borders dangerously close to counter-productive, even idiotic. Then again, she is a Republican.

Palin’s move out of office has, of course, caused quite a media backlash. People around the world are all wondering what her real reason for leaving office is. Rumors about Palin’s under-the-table dealings and other supposed skeletons in her closet have suddenly come under even greater scrutiny. If she thought the world would accept her choice as inspirational or selfless, she was wrong. If Palin believed abandoning her post would endear her to the American populace and thereby open the road towards the White House, she was even more wrong.

Sarah, I hereby deem you Person of the Week for your ill-planned exit from office and for your lack of grace in handling the media fallout that followed it. Congratulations!

PS There isn’t a medal or trophy for this but if I ever meet you in person I’ll gladly bitch-slap you as your reward. Someone needs to knock some sense into you.

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