Bitches and their dogs are everywhere today. Ever notice how people look like their dogs? I sympathize with that mutt. Paris spent yesterday binge shopping for crap that she will never use. She bought some boogie boards (in pink) then dropped a decent amount in a dog boutique (what is the world coming to?) for her menagerie. How many dogs does she have in that compound? And who cleans up all of the poop? I doubt it’s the Queen B that does the poop scooping.

I thought we had moved past Tara Reid. What is with those abs? And when did she get her tits done? They look hard as rocks. That poor bitch, and I don’t mean the terrier.

Speaking of crazy bitches, Britney Spears is EVERYWHERE today. If you’ve read the tabloids recently you know she bought yet another mini-dog. The American Humane Society is now pissed. Normally that would be the punchline but they really are. The Humane Society is angry that Britney bought her animal from a pet store because they stand against them due to puppy mill concerns. They are also angered that she bought the poor thing a mere 30 minutes after entering the store, “Choosing a dog is a major lifestyle decision that should not be taken lightly.”

Ironically, rumor has it that she has already lost the dog. She was seen sobbing into her sushi in LA the other day in response to her missing companion. Or was it just the bi-polar problem? Britney’s new single is due to hit the airwaves today. Which is odd considering a few weeks ago a release said she wouldn’t be releasing anything new until 2008. The new single is called “Get Back” which I can only assume is her telling the world that she is hoping to “get back” her career. Good luck with that ya crazy pink-wigged freak.

Enough with the bitches, on to the Beckhams. Last night The Beckhams dined with one of the Spice Girls (who cares which?) and exited the restaurant looking sour. Posh always looks sour in the media but what crawled up David’s ass? I do have to commend him on the red cardigan. I’ve resisted liking them for sometime but he makes it look too good. David is said to be settling in well at the LA Galaxy, not to mention causing heads to turn everywhere he goes. Step back Brad Pitt, there is a new sheriff in town (and he comes with an accent).

Tim Gunn, that smart and witty clothing critic from Project Runway, has his own show on Bravo now. The reality series is basically Tim criticizing women for what they wear and then helping them develop a signature look. Yes, I’m going to watch it.

Yesterday we reported that Justin Timberlake was opening his own restaurant. Queen Latifah is now following suit by opening her own FatBurger franchise in Miami. It is one thing to open a real restaurant in Manhattan but quite another to open a artery clogging fat-house fast food crap emporium in God’s waiting room (Florida). I thought Dana was extolling the virtues of good diet and exercise these days, since her transformation. This sounds like a setback to me.

Guilty Pleasure of the Day:

Weeds! I love the Showtime series that follows the story of a suburban housewife who becomes the Queen of Pot. The third season is coming up soon and here is a collage from a recent press junket with the cast. Yes, that is one of the Olsen twins. She is supposed to be Silas’ new love interest or something. I won’t hold my breath that she is any good. Still, Mary Louise Parker could carry the show on her back without any help.