Yesterday’s Guilty Pleasures was skipped because too little celebrity news was available. Of course other sites find plenty of fodder in the simplest of actions. They love it when any starlet goes shopping or when any family walks down the street. Here at Motiveless Crime we tend to ignore mundane stories like this. Luckily the celebrities supplied enough for us to put forward a decent Guilty Pleasures today!
You really can’t escape Britney Spears and her craziness anymore. Britney is not only on the cover of Allure (photoshopped to the max) but also graces the cover of four celebrity tabloid magazines. Us Weekly, Star, Life & Style and OK! Magazine are all using bad images and questionably factual lead stories about Britney for their covers. Among the stories are accusations that Britney has a new female lover, that Britney demanded her nannies to sleep with her and children, Kfed wants more custody and its even been said that Britney told both children that they were mistakes. Obviously Brit has lost it and the world loves it some crazy celebrity bitches.
By far the best story to hit the tabloids lately appears in The National Enquirer which has a source that claims Britney actually hit Kfed upside the head with a frying pan. The best part? It is supposedly all on tape. Britney has stupidly placed cameras throughout her home which are said to be KFed’s “smoking gun” because it shows Britney boozing, drugging and general craziness in detail:
“This is the smoking gun Kevin has been waiting to use,” said an insider. “Kevin said: Divorce that bitch and then get my boys away from her.’” In one tape, Britney slaps Kevin after screaming at him about a weekend he spent in Vegas. In another incident taped Britney whacked Kevin with a frying pan. “Kevin was going to use the frying pan, but Britney grabbed it and hit him with it when he turned his back,” said the insider. “He grabbed the pan out of her hand and walked away, but she hurled an ashtray at him. He dodged it, and it hit the sliding glass door.” In addition to the video tapes, Kevin has voicemail tapes of Britney admitting she was out drinking with friends, the insider revealed. “Kevin believes that Britney lets the boys run around with dirty diapers because she’s too lazy to change them.”
The rest of the world would love hit Kfed with a frying pan. But living with that douche is the only way to get the opportunity. I don’t understand how this could be used against her. Everyone knows the dumbass doesn’t have anything in that thick skull of his that could be damaged. She probably considered him a pinata…I would.
I’m really, really, really tired of Amy Winehouse and this whole rehab dance she is doing. First she was said to go to rehab in London, then she was found to actually be staying in a London hotel, following that she supposedly agreed to go to a U.S. rehab facility with her husband to get clean. It turns out that all of the above were wrong. While my interest in the topic is quickly dwindling, it appears that Amy’s overdose didn’t scare her enough to go sober. Amy is still in London and has been spotted in several bars, boozing it up. A UK tabloid is reporting that Amy did actually check herself into a clinic in Essex but left in under 48 hours when she found out that rehab meant no drugs allowed.
Stop the presses! David Beckham has finally scored a goal on U.S. soil! Beckham got to play captain of the LA Galaxy yesterday in a game at the Home Depot Center in Carson, California. 27 minutes into the game he scored his first goal which helped the team actually win a victory over D.C. United (2-0). “It’s very satisfying,” Beckham said. “I wanted to get off to a good start. I’m happy.” I’m confused. David, a “good start” would have been actually playing within a month of your arrival in this country. A “good start” wouldn’t include losing every game up to now. But, one point for optimism…and only one point.
Lindsay Lohan has finally been spotted in Utah. The crazed and sober red-head took a break from rehab and took a stroll around town earlier this week where she was photographed by a local. What did she do with her free time? She went for a spray-on tan. We all know that having a nice orange glow in rehab is a must. She is also said to have stopped next door to work out at a gym. My concern here is that she had to leave the Cirque Lodge to workout. She is paying $30,000 per month yet they don’t have a gym!?!? Those Mormons really are nuts.
Madonna reportedly flew commercial earlier in the week. Normally this would be news enough, but it only gets better. Not only did Madge fly with the “normal” people but she apparently shot up in front of them too. Passengers watched as Madonna pulled out a syringe, multiple times, and injected herself with vitamins. During the 7-hour flight she avoided eating solid food and only drank bottled water. So that is how she keeps that body! She injects herself with “vitamins” and doesn’t eat. Good to know.
Guilty Pleasure of the Day:
Paris Hilton is a serious bitch. She recently posted a missing dog flyer on the outside of her door:
“LOST DOG — HAVE YOU SEEN HER? Age: 3 in dog years My dog was last seen on the morning of July 24, 2007 chasing cars in Santa Monica. She will answer to the call of: Lilo, L Squared, Lo Hoe and Dime Bags, 2 for 10 dollars. She was also last seen carrying her favorite boys: a little white bag we call her “doggy bag” ad her favorite black ankle bracelet. Please come home! MISSING If you have any information, please call (310) 555 – NOHOPE or go to www.myspace.com/dirtyagenda All the change in my couch will be offered for the information leading to the safe return of my dog.”
If you can’t make out all of the digs, here is what it says:
Weight: Anorexic
Eyed: Dilated
Coat: Spotted/Freckled
Breed: Freckle-Bellied Cokewhore Terrier
