The internet is all ablaze with the glory of celebrity scandal today. Bad news for the likes of Madonna, Orlando Bloom and Mischa Barton…good news for those of us who love bad news (as long as it isn’t related to us directly). This is the basic premise of celebrity gossip after all: schadenfreude.
First off, Twitter is all about Madonna and what her opulence has caused today. If you haven’t seen her latest tour, called Sticky & Sweet (bukkake anyone?), it is FAGULOUS. Yes, that’s right, I’m coining a new phrase. No matter the venue, that woman/being knows how to put on a big and glittery show (minus the artistry/class of other gay icons i.e. Cher or Bette Midler). That being said, the stage for her tour is huge and the weight of such a massive traveling structure has finally collapsed on itself…and a few people as well. While being assembled at the Stade Velodrome stadium in Marseille, France, the stage fell apart today, crashing down on several workers. So far reports say that at least six people have been rushed to the hospital and one D-E-A-D. It goes without saying that the concert has been canceled.
Speaking of crazy she-animals, it was reported early today that Mischa Barton (of The OC fame) was “removed” from her West Hollywood home late Wednesday afternoon. Before going any further, let’s just make sure you understand who this psycho bitch is. She is well-known in the Hollywood social scene for being a little…off. She tends to self-medicate with anything she can get her hands on. In fact in February 2008 she was charged with DUI and marijuana possession (just the tip of the iceberg if you ask me). So, it should come as no surprise that newer reports today have escalated the starlet’s current state. It appears dear Mischa has been placed under psychiatric hold and transferred to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Mischa, age 23, has a new show coming out on the CW this fall though that may be tossed in the crapper if she doesn’t get her shit together. Following in the footsteps of Britney (who has been placed on psychiatric hold twice so far) isn’t a good idea. Hopefully she will just turn out to have had a bad trip on some magic-mushrooms.
On the less deadly/psychotic side of things: Orlando Bloom has been robbed. The actor, who has been in NYC lately, also has a home in the Hollywood Hills. Yesterday thieves broke into said home and absconded with roughly $500,000 in loot. So far no one has been arrested, but fingerprints were taken at the scene.
Enough with the celeb-drama! How about some good ole’ fluff? Images of the main characters in the upcoming Iron Man 2 have emerged in the upcoming issue of Entertainment Weekly. I have to say I didn’t see the first and probably won’t see the second but I loves me anything with Scarlett Johannsson. Ms. Scarlett appears to be playing a character named the Black Widow. Not sure if I care for the hair-color but I’m sure its appropriate somehow. Hope she plays a slutty villian…PS That is Mickey Rourke in there too. Scary, no?
- Just a little bit more sad news: Kim Cattrall is single again. Aw.
Time for another BLIND ITEM!!! I know you love them, so shut it:
“Of course everyone is excited to discover who will get an Emmy nod later today. What is far more interesting, though, are the preparations being made for one potential non-nominee. Her staff is gearing up for the worst. They have removed all breakables from the vicinity, and have a bottle of valium at the ready. They have also instructed all non-essential staff to check the nominations before coming in to work so they will know whether they should wear regular work attire or riot gear.”(Blind Gossip)
Hmmm…Katherine Heigl?
Guilty Pleasure of the Day:
I don’t really know who this kid, Taylor Lautner, is but apparently he was in some vampire movie called Twilight. No, I’m not a fan. Yes, he is purrrty to look at. BUT the real reason I’m interested in this is because somehow this photo-shoot for Interview Magazine doesn’t make him look like an “it” boy but rather a gay porn star. Seriously, this shit looks like it could be on SeanCody or CorbinFisher! Plus a video:
















































The Nightmare WAY Before Christmas
July 29th, 2009 by motivelesscrime Comments »I went on an innocent shopping spree this past weekend with the intention of buying myself something nice in celebration of some personal victories. Little did I know that this particular day of shopping would be, at best, nightmarish. Sure, I enjoyed myself, even bought exactly what I wanted despite an overzealous sales associate. But what bit the day in the ass was something I saw at a major department store. What I saw was so out of place, so inappropriate, so…wrong.
I saw Christmas decorations, in July.
I’m not anti-Christmas by any means. I have been known to enjoy the season with the proverbial cocktail and candy cane in hand. But that has always been when the weather has reached below 60. As it is, it hasn’t even fallen below 80. So when I walked into the perfume and makeup department to be assaulted with shiny red garland hung around the counters like bunting, I had to do a mental check that I hadn’t blacked out and missed the last three months of my life.
There atop the various counter islands were small green gnome sized trees baring silver globes with red accents. True to advertising standards since the late 90’s, there were no mangers with babies surrounded by farm animals. There were no images of Jesus. But make no mistake, this was a Christmas display.
Once the initial shock wore off and I unclenched my jaw, I let the horror of the scene filter through and I began to question why any national company would okay such a drastic raping of the yearly calendar’s fixed holiday schedule. The answer was clear immediately: People spend more money when the holidays roll around. So, why not make them think that stockings and snow are just around the corner? Perhaps the average American won’t do the simple math in their head and notice the marketing ploy at their feet? Sadly, this is probably true.
I guess that is the real reason I’m fuming over this Christmas marketing ploy. It’s a form of mental warfare. It’s a subliminal attempt to trick the lower and middle classes into spending cash and credit they don’t have and shouldn’t be using on frivolous expenses. I, myself, was a little leery of spending any of my money on such things. I pity anyone who falls for this deceitful marketing ploy because it will backfire when it counts the most.
Consider the possibility that a low-earning family sees the covert decorations and falls for the effects. They get into a cheery mood and start noticing all of the little pretties around the store. Money is low, jobs are perilously dangling, but hey, as long as there is money for food, gas and water, surely what meager amount is left over can be used to keep the smiles on everyone’s beaming little faces. Just buy something; it’ll make all your troubles go away. Don’t have the cash? Charge it! It isn’t like you will see it on your statement until the next month.
But what if you get a flat tire? What if a pipe bursts? What if someone gets sick and needs medication? The visit to the doctor alone will drain your account of at least $100, with or without insurance. Americans have been trained to follow the instant-gratification rule. Why wait when you can have it now? It looks like Christmas in the store. So, why not indulge in a little Christmas joy right here, right now?
At the end of the day, putting Christmas half a year early is in a way robbing us of the actual holiday. It’s exploitation of the worst kind. Going out and helping a major corporation’s bottom line might look good as the next round of quarterly earnings hit the market. But if the money is gone when the most important period in the American economy sneaks up on us, how will those numbers reflect the current state of our finances? Using such blatant trickery paints a very nasty color on all of us and takes away that magic in Santa’s smile. In fact, it makes it just a little bit menacing, knowing and threatening. Those little trees with shiny bobbles surrounded in glittery red garland in July are the real Nightmare Before Christmas.
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Posted in Commentary, MC Original Content
Tags: American Christmas Commentary consumer consumerism decorations department store economics evil gay rights July money Nightmare Before Christmas Santa shopping unemployment